It’s People Not Programs…A Stark Reminder!

At the beginning of this school year my son Caleb started preschool.  Caleb is a younger preschool student as he has a late summer birthday.  He is also one who forms deep connections with those he spends his time with and struggles forming new relationships.  Knowing these two things my wife and I knew that preschool was going to be hard for our little buddy.  We had the following choices for a preschool program: 

• Attend a Dubuque Preschool Program 

• He was already signed up (we would eventually move out of the district). 
• The program was only a half a day. 
• He would still be able to attend his former daycare only a block away. 
• Christy works a block away from the school. 
• Affordable before care available on site. 

• Attend Peosta Elementary in The Western Dubuque Community School District 

• Current home building (moved to new home prior to school year starting). 
• Full day preschool programs. 
• Uncertain on pick up and drop off. 

After a lot of discussion and thought we decided that attending the Dubuque program would be the best option for Caleb.  In our eyes the shorter day and availability of affordable before care made this the more attractive program for Caleb to attend.   For the next two months Caleb hated school.  At drop off he would hide in the back of the van, scream for up to an hour when finally in the building, and even tried to run out on several occasions.  We were very much facing the possibility that Caleb was going to be “kicked” out of preschool.  However, more upsetting was that he was suffering from a lot of anxiety at home and misbehaving nightly.  We had yet another decision to make.  Do we pull him from preschool and try again next year or send him to a full day program at Peosta Elementary. 

We decided to send him to Peosta Elementary.  He cried upon drop off for the first couple of weeks and has been all smiles for the last two weeks.  Currently he walks into school by himself and finds his spot on line (something we never thought he would do).  He talks about school with such joy and excitement now that it is evident he is enjoying his learning.  So, what was the difference maker in these two programs?  On paper and logistically we felt his first program was the better fit, however, we forgot something very import.  It is people that make the difference in a child’s life not the programs themselves.  I noticed four traits that the Peosta Elementary staff demonstrated that makes them people who make a difference: 

They Connect – with students as individuals.  The Peosta Elementary staff wanted to know who Caleb was.  They were interested in his story, his interests, and his education.  This connection gave Caleb a level of security that he had not had at his previous placement. 

They Communicate –  with students and parents.  For a week or two prior to Caleb starting at Peosta Elementary we were having conversations about what was needed for a smooth transition.  From that point on we have gotten continuous feedback on Caleb's progress and what he is learning in preschool.   

They Care – for all there students.  On the third day of school during our conversations at home about school Caleb stated, "My teacher loves me...so everything is going to be okay."  Caleb knew from very early on that he was not just part of a class but part of a family. 

They Continuously Do What is Needed – to promote the success of their students.  I don’t know if Caleb's positive drop offs and days at preschool will continue, but what I do know is that whatever happens he is going to be surrounded by people who are not going to give up on him.  Both at home and at school Caleb knows that the people in his life are willing to do what it takes for him to be successful. 

In many ways I feel it is the actions of those adults at Peosta Elementary School who have given us our Caleb back.  For two months he displayed behaviors so uncharacteristic for him, however, now we feel we have our fun loving son back.  His jokes and laughs fill our nights now instead of his screams and tantrums.  This is a true testament that impact is made by ordinary people doing ordinary things in extraordinary ways.

But I'm Just a .... (Insert Job or Role)

This week I had the wonderful opportunity to attend the Teaching, Learning, and Coaching Conference.  The conference was held at the Marriott Hotel in downtown Denver.  At the end of the conference a golden key was given to a Marriott employee who went above and beyond in helping host the conference.  This recognition was given to a man named Anthony.  Anthony, was all over the place helping people find their rooms, setting up conference materials, emptying garbage cans, moving tables, and picking up trash from the floor.  He was doing whatever he could to help the conference go smoothly.  Three things can be observed from how Anthony approached his job. He simply did what he does, he wasn’t looking for to be recognized, and he made a tremendous impact.

Too often we feel we need a big role or title to be important to our organization, school, or team.  Anthony’s recognition shows us that this is very far from the truth.  In fact most of us will not be big name celebrities, athletes, or famous people.  By no means does this limit the importance of our roles.  While attending a conference a few years ago I heard former Secretary of State Colin Powell tell a story.  He shared how he often told the cleaning lady of his office that foreign ministers and leaders where always relaxed and comfortable in his office.  He attributed this to her hard work and went on to tell her that she had a vital impact on foreign policy.  Anthony made a difference because he took pride in his work and went above and beyond in doing it.  It is not our titles that determine our impact but instead the level of vigor that we bring to our roles in life.

When Anthony’s name was called to receive this recognition you could tell he was a bit hesitant to go up on stage and receive the key along with a roar of cheers and clapping from the audience.  It was very evident that he didn’t go out and perform all these tasks to earn a key.  So, why did he go above and beyond in his job?  To answer this I feel I must do a bit of inferring.  My brother always had this saying, “If a task is once begun, be the task great or small, do it well or not at all.”  If we are going to perform a task people deserve our best.  Whatever our roles are, be it a teacher, fast food worker, postman, politician, lawyer, doctor, retail worker, daycare provider, the list goes on and on yet the simple fact remains that people deserve our best.  If we are doing a job we must do it to the best of our abilities.

Finally, by simply doing what he does and doing it the best he can Anthony made an impact on well over six hundred conference attendees.  It is foolish of us to believe that we do not have the ability to have a positive impact on those around us.  We see the example of Anthony but there are also countless stories of people who make a difference by taking on a role and simply doing it well.  True impact really occures when everyday people do ordinary things in extraordinary ways.

Finding Balance

Time is often consider the great equalizer of humanity.  No matter our income, status, or race none of us can add time to the 24 hours that are in a day.  Since we are unable to add more time to our days it is important that we leverage the time we do have intentionally. 

In the past two years my family and I have certainly felt the crunch of busy schedules.  Within that time I began my Master’s program, we had our third child, worked part time at a new church campus launch, took on a new role in education, moved, and my wife began her Master’s program.  Between raising our three children, focusing on our each other, and busy careers life has been a bit hectic.  As I look back within these last two years we have had some wonderful family and professional times as well as some that were not so great.  There were three common threads present during the good times within this chaotic season of life.

Quality vs. Quantity

I once thought family time should be focused on the quality of the time.  Now I believe that quality time is a byproduct of quantity time.  With three young kids there is no way to plan and guarantee quality time together.  There are simply too many variables at play that may allow great family time to turn into unexpected situations of parenthood.  For example, last week we planned a special ice cream trip to Culvers to have some “quality” family time, however, upon pulling into the parking lot our middle child threw a fit saying he didn’t want Culvers he wanted Dairy Queen.  For the next twenty minutes my wife and two of our three children enjoyed ice cream while I sat in the car with a screaming child.  Not the quality time we had planned.  We must focus on having quantity time with our families for it is in that quantity time that quality time will occur. 

Be Where You Are

A few years ago I remember reading a book and studying on the couch with the kids during our nightly family cuddle/TV time.  After a bit my daughter looked at me and said, “Daddy cuddle time is cuddle time.”  This was a simple yet powerful insight from my then four year old daughter.  She was telling me that if I am physically present during cuddle time then I must also be mentally focused on cuddle time.  I once thought that multitasking was a productive use of time.  Now I believe it is more productive and honoring to the people I am with to be mentally and physically present where my feet are planted. 

Schedule

I once heard Mark Driscoll stat, “Let me see your schedule…and I can tell you exactly what is important in your life.”  It would be interesting to list out the most important things in our lives and then allow a stranger to look at our schedules and see if they come up with the same list.  If not we are merely doing lip service to what we believe is most important in our lives and not honoring them with the precious time they deserve.  In the past two years when times had gotten rough it was usually due to work and school creeping into family time.  If we say that our family is important we must honor that with our schedules.  I realized in the last two years that the times we were happiest were those when homework and work cut into other areas of life (mainly sleep) instead of family time.  I once believed that schedules would take care of themselves.  Now I believe that I must be diligent planning and organizing each day.

Finding balance between personal and professional life is tough.  However, leveraging schedules to allow for quantity family time and being mentally and physically present in those moments will create the quality time that families are longing for.