Finding Balance

Time is often consider the great equalizer of humanity.  No matter our income, status, or race none of us can add time to the 24 hours that are in a day.  Since we are unable to add more time to our days it is important that we leverage the time we do have intentionally. 

In the past two years my family and I have certainly felt the crunch of busy schedules.  Within that time I began my Master’s program, we had our third child, worked part time at a new church campus launch, took on a new role in education, moved, and my wife began her Master’s program.  Between raising our three children, focusing on our each other, and busy careers life has been a bit hectic.  As I look back within these last two years we have had some wonderful family and professional times as well as some that were not so great.  There were three common threads present during the good times within this chaotic season of life.

Quality vs. Quantity

I once thought family time should be focused on the quality of the time.  Now I believe that quality time is a byproduct of quantity time.  With three young kids there is no way to plan and guarantee quality time together.  There are simply too many variables at play that may allow great family time to turn into unexpected situations of parenthood.  For example, last week we planned a special ice cream trip to Culvers to have some “quality” family time, however, upon pulling into the parking lot our middle child threw a fit saying he didn’t want Culvers he wanted Dairy Queen.  For the next twenty minutes my wife and two of our three children enjoyed ice cream while I sat in the car with a screaming child.  Not the quality time we had planned.  We must focus on having quantity time with our families for it is in that quantity time that quality time will occur. 

Be Where You Are

A few years ago I remember reading a book and studying on the couch with the kids during our nightly family cuddle/TV time.  After a bit my daughter looked at me and said, “Daddy cuddle time is cuddle time.”  This was a simple yet powerful insight from my then four year old daughter.  She was telling me that if I am physically present during cuddle time then I must also be mentally focused on cuddle time.  I once thought that multitasking was a productive use of time.  Now I believe it is more productive and honoring to the people I am with to be mentally and physically present where my feet are planted. 

Schedule

I once heard Mark Driscoll stat, “Let me see your schedule…and I can tell you exactly what is important in your life.”  It would be interesting to list out the most important things in our lives and then allow a stranger to look at our schedules and see if they come up with the same list.  If not we are merely doing lip service to what we believe is most important in our lives and not honoring them with the precious time they deserve.  In the past two years when times had gotten rough it was usually due to work and school creeping into family time.  If we say that our family is important we must honor that with our schedules.  I realized in the last two years that the times we were happiest were those when homework and work cut into other areas of life (mainly sleep) instead of family time.  I once believed that schedules would take care of themselves.  Now I believe that I must be diligent planning and organizing each day.

Finding balance between personal and professional life is tough.  However, leveraging schedules to allow for quantity family time and being mentally and physically present in those moments will create the quality time that families are longing for.