Time is often consider the great equalizer of humanity. No matter our income, status, or race none of
us can add time to the 24 hours that are in a day. Since we are unable to add more time to our
days it is important that we leverage the time we do have intentionally.
In the past two years my family and I have certainly felt the
crunch of busy schedules. Within that time I began my Master’s program, we had our third child, worked part
time at a new church campus launch, took on a new role in education, moved, and
my wife began her Master’s program.
Between raising our three children, focusing on our each other, and busy
careers life has been a bit hectic. As I
look back within these last two years we have had some wonderful family and
professional times as well as some that were not so great. There were three common threads present
during the good times within this chaotic season of life.
Quality vs. Quantity
I once thought family time should be
focused on the quality of the time. Now
I believe that quality time is a byproduct of quantity time.
With three young kids there is no way to plan and guarantee
quality time together. There are simply
too many variables at play that may allow great family time to turn into
unexpected situations of parenthood. For
example, last week we planned a special ice cream trip to Culvers to have some “quality”
family time, however, upon pulling into the parking lot our middle child threw
a fit saying he didn’t want Culvers he wanted Dairy Queen. For the next twenty minutes my wife and two
of our three children enjoyed ice cream while I sat in the car with a screaming
child. Not the quality time we had
planned. We must focus on having
quantity time with our families for it is in that quantity time that quality
time will occur.
Be Where
You Are
A few years ago I remember reading a book and studying on
the couch with the kids during our nightly family cuddle/TV time. After a bit my daughter looked at me and
said, “Daddy cuddle time is cuddle time.”
This was a simple yet powerful insight from my then four year old
daughter. She was telling me that if I
am physically present during cuddle time then I must also be mentally focused on
cuddle time. I once thought
that multitasking was a productive use of time.
Now I believe it is more productive and honoring to the people I am with
to be mentally and physically present where my feet are planted.
Schedule
I once heard Mark Driscoll stat, “Let me see your
schedule…and I can tell you exactly what is important in your life.”
It would be interesting to list out the most important things in
our lives and then allow a stranger to look at our schedules and see if they
come up with the same list. If not we
are merely doing lip service to what we believe is most important in our lives
and not honoring them with the precious time they deserve. In the past two years when times had gotten
rough it was usually due to work and school creeping into family time. If we say that our family is
important we must honor that with our schedules.
I realized in the last two years that the times we were happiest
were those when homework and work cut into other areas of life (mainly sleep) instead
of family time. I once believed that
schedules would take care of themselves.
Now I believe that I must be diligent planning and organizing each day.
Finding balance between personal and professional life is tough. However, leveraging schedules
to allow for quantity family time and being mentally and physically present in
those moments will create the quality time that families are longing for.
